LIGHT publishes light verse (obviously), humorous poems. Many poems I so far read scan, so I dug up two of my very few funny poems and fired them off.

This was rejected,

How It All Began

Some poor fool decided so damn long ago,
To make little pictures of words he would know.
He filled up with wine till he couldn’t get tighter,
And then he sat down to be first of the writers.

From numbers and lists it could only get worse,
With some other fools making markings in verse,
Or stories of conquest, battles and gods,
And all were the same, being equally odd.

You sit there and scribble the whole goddamned night,
And bang on your head till you get the thing right,
Then drink it all off until you don’t know what year you’re in,
And laugh through your glass at that poor fool Sumerian!

And so was this:

Vim And Vigor

Came the day nut butter went boom,
And scattered nutrition all over the room,
A challenging task for the sturdiest broom.

Modern these days as many assume,
Concocting concoctions can forestall your doom,
No matter if taken from vine, tree or bloom.

No clever contrivance can fend off the tomb,
And all such devising can only bring gloom,
So eat what you want what you like to consume!

When a rejection hits, after I’ve made the entry including comment in my submission record, I read through to try to determine whether it was that the poem “just didn’t hit” the editor or the poem didn’t fit. I read poems in the current issue and several from different previous issues, and I heard a wistful or sentimental tone, a sort of “oh, well,” light, and nothing I write sounds at all like what I read here. This is my best guess for why the bounce, and I found another principle of scanning reviews, journals, magazines and whatever to see whether or not to submit.

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